Ugly
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: Matt stared mirthlessly at the shattered photograph across the room. He was never meant to follow. - Three parts.
1. Exit Wounds

**Part 1**

"Exit Wounds" - Placebo

_~Want you so bad I can taste it,_

_but you're nowhere to be found._

_I'll take a drug to replace it._

_or put me in the ground~_

He could no longer stare at the image on the screen: The very last image he had been able to get ahold of. It was filled by a slightly blurry image of a man in a heavy black coat with furred trim and blond hair peaking out from underneath. Blue orbs stared menacingly at the security camera, along with the gun pointed up. Seconds later the feed would be lost and all previous data corrupted; all except what he had saved to server.

His fingertips touched the screen. "Where are you?" The image was over two years old, and to be honest he was losing patience...and hope.

Two years and eight months since he had seen him, kissed him, felt his skin, fucked him. He was supposed to be there helping him, not chasing his shadow. That night, the one where the argument had gotten so terribly out of control and almost landed him in a hospital-but instead, in Mello's bed-should have been the turning point. Mello was to be formally inducted into the mafia the next day and Matt was certain he had convinced him not to do it alone, to have outside help. A friend..something more.

At least until morning came and he had been alone.

He wanted the blond so bad he could taste the kisses; the hollow of Mello's hips, the salty trail of-

His fingers left dirty streaks on the computer screen, and Matt could not honestly care. He bared his teeth as his lips trembled—out of anger or desperation was uncertain.

"Goddamn it!" He hissed, closing his eyes. He needed to know Mello was alright. He did not care about the case, or some petty childhood revenge or whatever it was. He only cared about his friend.

Who, like a ghost, left no trace.

"URG!" Matt screamed and his fist shot into the computer screen. The monitor flew off the desk and landed on the floor in a loud crash. Matt was all controlled rage for a few long moments-a deadly, oddly silent calm-before he picked up his keyboard and slammed it against the edge of the desk until keys began to fall off, and a crack formed in the middle. He let the damaged item fall from his grasp and grabbed the next closest item to repeat.

The room looked like a hurricane had bowled through it when he was done-and he simply .care.

As if mocking him, Mello's image still shown on the cracked, flickering monitor. He put his boot through it and walked from the room without a second glance.

He could replace them tomorrow.

Tonight...he had to fix everything else.

.

.

**AN**: This is a three part series, little scenes that are interconnected but each have a very different feel so will be different chapters. I should have the next one up tomorrow, but for now i'm looking over the next chapter of Must Love Sharks.

.

**Disclaime**r: i do not own or make money from the anime Death Note, or the lyrics that inspired this part of the fic-those belong to Placebo, as stated above.

.

.

**Review?**


	2. Degausser

**Part 2**

"Degausser" - Brand New

_~ Well take me, take me back to your bed_

_I love you so much that it hurts my head_

_Say I don't mind you under my skin_

_I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in_

_When we were made we were set apart_

_Life is a test and I get bad marks_

_Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins_

_The storm is coming, the storm is coming in~_

_._

He did not smile as he took the picture. He did not frown. He simply let the little blinking red light speed up until the flash went off and his image showed up in front of him. Tangled, red strands of messy unbrushed hair, pale overly freckled skin and a pair of green goggles to cover his green eyes. Matt snorted. He looked terrible...but not unrecognizable.

With quick fingers and an even faster mind, he attached his image to the worm he had created. A trojan would be too easy to spot, and harder to get what he wanted out at the same time—if he did it, that is.

Matt was not crazy.

No more than the average person.

Though perhaps it might be hard to tell from what he was planning.

His gaze flickered to the time and he sighed. The evening news was only minutes away. His worm would need time. But that could work to his advantage. If it was allowed to infect its targeted systems overnight then when he executed the program it would appear at the same time everywhere; as well as be "shared", "liked" and spread even more. Social media, and curiosity over who he was-and why he would plaster his image everywhere at such a time-would do more for him than the worm alone.

His plan was simple: send out his picture to every major media platform and news station for a duration of fifteen seconds, and see if Mello cared enough to contact him. He knew that if the blond tried, he could easily do it.

Matt sat back and viewed his work. It was complete and ready to go.

-**Send?**-

**YES** / **NO **

He scrolled the mouse over "YES"... and hesitated. If he did this, there was no going back. No fixing the situation after. There would always be at least one copy floating around that he had not caught, was unable to delete; and if somehow all the others had not caught Kira'a attention, that _one _would. Though he had no record to speak of, Kira may simply get rid of him anyway. In that case, would he even last to find Mello?

His finger was poised above the mouse for the longest time.

Thoughts of Mello drifted across his mind. If he did nothing, then he still may not ever see him.

He closed his eyes and clicked.

.

.

**AN**: sorry for the late post. I was just so tired after work, and then with the snow storm coming we needed to do some shopping before all the crazies infiltrated the stores XD Last part will be out tomorrow.

.

**Special Thanks to Reviewers**: Moi, mellie, Keono

.

**Disclaime**r: i do not own or make money from the anime Death Note, or the lyrics that inspired this part of the fic-those belong to Brand New, as stated above.

.

.

**Review?**


	3. Ugly

**Part 3**

**.**

"Ugly" **by** Smile Empty Soul

_~You're ugly_

_But only in the sunlight_

_Remind me_

_There's nothing good in this life_

_This pain will hide_

_What I've become!_

_This place will make you numb~_

.

Matt was actually in the process of spinning around in his swivel chair, downing a bottle of Jack when the phone began to ring. He bobbed his head to the music until it shut off, and momentarily started again as whoever called tried once more. He sighed and dropped the bottle to the desk, watching the liquid slosh inside before picking up the call.

"Y'ello?" he slurred.

"You stupid son of a bitch-"

Matt pulled the phone away as loud angry words filled the speaker.

"Soooo you finally noticed?" Matt trampled over the tirade on the other end. This had been what he wanted, but right now he might be a little drunk. And a little angry. The blond only called because he was a connection to him, not because he was worried or anything. Matt snorted, why had he thought there were feelings involved anyway? Hadn't Mello made it perfectly clear when he left?

"-are you that selfish that you would jeopardize everything-"

"Selfish?" Matt repeated softly. He was...selfish? He stared at the blurry photo across the room—the one that held the both of them in it, though most of the blonds face was hidden against Matt's shoulder. He put up with years of Mello bitching about Near, about L this and L that. Months of living like shit because they were ill prepared to leave wammys that young. So much time spent on what Mello _wanted_. Mello _needed_. Of watching the only person in his life fall apart from the inside...being left alone for said person to join the fucking Mafia!

And _he_ was the selfish one?

A soft giggle escaped his parted lips. He tried to stop the next one, and the one after but it eventually spiraled into full blown laughter.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?!" Mello snarled, "You know what never mind that, where are you so I can beat the shit out of you?"

"You know Mel," Matt pulled the bottle of Jack back to his lips and took a long swig. "I think I finally understand." He tipped the bottle back and drank until it was empty. He let it drop to the floor and reached over to his desk. He pulled the firearm that was strapped to the underside of the desk free.

"You dont have to worry about this connection anymore." Matt pointed the gun, finger shaking on the trigger, and pulled. The sound echoed off the apartment and as the phone slid from limp fingers the call ended leaving Mello stunned on the other end.

Matt stared mirthlessly at the shattered photograph across the room. He was never meant to follow.

.

-**End**-

.

** AN**: Sooo i meant to have posted this the other day but i forgot XD but anyway...

.

**Special thanks to reviewers**: mxmsupporter, Keono, moi, (guest), Deadly Nightshade1395

.

**Disclaime**r: i do not own or make money from the anime Death Note, or the lyrics that inspired this part of the fic-those belong to Smile Empty Soul, as stated above.

.

.

**Review?**


End file.
